I found it. I found the source of all the misery that has been plaguing me. Before you say "Duh, it's at where you work, it's all those people that call you" it goes deeper than that. Apparently I've been repeatedly reported by my very own co-workers about me being stressed. The majority of my time this week has been spent in my boss' office thanks to them. However I think they were disappointed to find out that I wasn't called in to be fired but for them to find out if I'm okay and how they could work with me so I can be better. Now for the killer! They showed me my average calls for a day and compared to the others in the office. I was at 50 calls. They were around 25-30.... THAT IS WHY I'VE BEEN STRESSED. They are not even trying to take calls. I have been doing twice the work because THEY DON'T WANT TO WORK! It is my co-workers that are causing me to be this way! I even tried to do less work there purposely this week and guess what? I'm STILL DOING TWICE THE WORK AS THE REST! I'm getting most of the calls, most of the stress and they are trying to get brownie points for reporting me to their supervisors! I let myself think I could trust them but I should of known better. The help desk personnel themselves are causing all my problems just so they can look better and do less work! I've noticed also that whenever I go on a break even if it's my 15 minute one, the board goes red and there are a shitload of calls piled up. They aren't answering the calls even if I'm not on break. I have the feeling that if they do that, the supervisors are going to come out and check to see who's working and instantly target me! Now since I'm on break I can show them that I'm supposed to be on break so they don't bother me, but it's the fact that these people that I've been around for 14 MONTHS want me to lose my sanity, just so they look better.

Next week I'm taking vacation (well it's more like not going to work because I hate all you guys and I'm going to get paid for it too) next week so it will be time to rest and send out more resumes' because I want them all to fail. I want them all to be the cause of the death of that place so I can stand outside and laugh. Either that or a terrorist bomb go off there when I just leave to go home (yes, ooo that's bad to say, but if you have to deal with the entire helpdesk vs. you for over a year you'd feel the same way too).

Remember yesterday, when I was all happy and stuff? WELL NOT FUCKING TODAY!! As always the job has made me my darker half. The ringing over and over and over! The complaining over and over and over! The typing OVER AND OVER! Every single time I took a call 5 MORE calls would come in. I could not even get a break! It got so bad that instead of talking to people I just hung up on them. My mom called and wanted to take me to some federal job fair thing. However, she got as irritating as a customer SO I HUNG UP ON HER TOO! That's right, I've been hanging up on a lot of people even for small reason just so I don't have to hear the complaining. Yes, it's getting bad to where I just snapped at anyone that crossed my path. It's getting worse and worse everyday... Should I quit and continue learning more editing skills while looking for a new job? Or should I just keep losing more and more of my sanity yet getting a paycheck?

That's the question....

I really needed this weekend. Two days with friends and a day all to myself. Friday, hung out with Steve and company and have fun watching the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, and generally having a good time. Saturday, did my dynamis but also got to play Dirge of Cerberus and had fun to myself. No bothers, no interruptions! Just peace. Sunday, I was not on my pc at all for once (gasp!). I went floating on a river, eating at a cookout, playing beach volleyball, doing a bit of DDR and play with a ferret. I did not want the night to end, but it had to because of hell....... err.... i mean work.

To be quite honest, as much as it is a bad idea, I just want to quit my job and spend my time looking for a new one and working on my video editing skills so I can get a better job that I love. Just it is a slow hiring season or something and IT work even on hands on I think I will still be bitter. Hell, during volleyball I fucked up a hit and everyone saw my anger. It was just a brief glimpse but it's enough to show that I have a lot of it. I was active this weekend and full of life which is GREAT for my health. Going to work at this place is BAD for my health. I have a resume' all set up, and I have a skeleton of a cover letter, just no bites. It sucks. I want to be free from this place!

Yes I know it has been a while since I have updated this LJ but think about it.

Every entry would be:


I HATE MY JOB!!


I HATE MY JOB!!


I HATE MY JOB!!


See my point?

But anyways, its 1:30 am and I have to be up at 6:00 am..... hate my job! And mondays are the worst of all days! Thanks NASA for making my life miserable.